Strengthening fingernails-the Trainers Choice

Dad has been on my mind a lot lately, and for all the oddest of reasons: His hard, ripply fingernails that resemble the top of an old, metal washboard, except a whole lot smaller, though not at all lacking in the steel-like quality. He nails could cut a lot of things, skin included.

Just don’t ever do this,” he said, filing his nails with his bottom teeth. I greatly admired my father’s soft, round edges, the kind a professional manicurist would envy. Unfortunately, his Superman fingernail genetics skipped right over me, for I have thin nails, normal to ugly shaped, and not at all feminine looking. He did manage to pass me his thick, cow-milking fingers, nice and wide for gripping those ‘teeeets’ as my family says, and palms the size of a bear claw. Ever shake my hand and you’ll recognize the grip of death followed by a quick retraction before you can actually verify I’m a man and not Pat in disguise.

All manliness aside, I strive for long, lovely, hard nails, and realized magazines make millions of dollars accepting ads for all types of nail hardeners (this is what I think about when I’m stressed). Don’t go there. Instead, go out and buy yourself a small round of Heathly Hoof nail hardener. I was turned on this by my very first college roommate, oh-so-long ago. She hailed from Colorado, had horses, and said it was the oldest trick in the book. “Women have been using this stuff for decades!” she said. What? you say, in disbelief? It’s true, the same way it’s true that male hockey players wear women’s nylons (preferably in the natural tan color) because it reduces the hair getting caught in all that stinky gear. “The Trainer’s Choice,” is the tagline for Healthy Hoof, and so it should be. In a matter of days, my nails were noticably harder. A few weeks out, the nails were long and strong. No breaking, chipping or flaking.

Usage tip–take a bit of the cream and rub it at the base of the cuticles, then around the top of the nail. Do this a few times on each finger-one hand then the other. A couple times a day for faster results, but once a day will do the trick just fine. Soon you won’t need anything else on your nails–except a color now and then to mix it up. However, it doesn’t work on nailpolish–so that will have to come off when you apply the cream. Now all I have to do is figure out how Dad keeps his hair so nice looking.