No-effort slim waist

Today I’m introducing you to two friends. Donita and Lei. These are my workout buddies, who, just this morning, sandwiched me as we made our rounds of cardio machines and weights for three, count ’em, three hours. Donita as a blond-haired Amazonian real-estate agent, who’s former husband co-founded and sold one of the few successful Internet ventures (that I happen to use all the time; if you cook, chances are, so do you). Lei on the other hand, is a 38-year old brain surgeon. Serious. She graduated top of her class, did her externship and no has offers from all over the country. Lei’s also a mother of two, and, get this, a Maxim model. (Why Maxim you may ask. Her husband challenged her to pay for her med school by modeling. By golly. She took that challenge and raised him. Little did he know she was going to do it wearing itty-bitty bikinis).

Now, I’m all for the notion that God gave us all different talents and gifts. But did he have to combine so many in one little dark-haired-hot-bodied-Asian-hawaiian-something else- chick? But I digress. I’ve been fortunate enough to workout alongside these two gym-queens. This morning started at 6 am (which meant I got my sorry-butt out of bed at 5) and ended at 9:15.

Some highlights:

1. “Bikini season is starting.” Huh? It’s over. “Not for me,” she says. Magazines go all crazy in the winter to motivate people. Fitness models like her “take the summer off,” and don’t do anything. When the end of August hits, she has two weeks to get it in to gear. I suppose this is good for those of us who have aspirations to vaca in the winter.

2. “It’s all about the —.” Yes, Lei was blunt. Maxim “is all about the —,” she reconfirms as she points to her derriere. You see, all the angles want a rock-hard, shiny-like-a-new-car, high, lifted fanny. That translates in to most of the movements, be it on machine, free weights or torturous movements like Plios, are geared to lift the largest muscle in the body that has a propensity to sag over time. Amen!

3. “100 reps of everything.” Egads. That means any circuit has five rounds of 15-25 reps. Most of the time 25. One word. Pain.

4. “Soft, non-muscular stomachs.” What the..? “Maxim doesn’t like the muscles to look defined. They aren’t feminine.” Ok. High and tight butts are okay, but this soft, lean stomachs are good. As I thought about it, I saw the light. When I 18, my fan-fan was high and tight, my stomach flat and soft. Oh. I got it.
That’s the easy part, she went on to say, and this is actually the punch line of this blog. “Get a belt,” she says to me, then lifts up my shirt. “Oh, you don’t really need it,” she says, with what I hope was a bit of grumpiness, for I pretty much carried up the rear on all the reps today.
“The belt is a no-effort way to lose inches during your cardio,” she says in a professional, hot-maxim-body-brain-surgeon type of weight-side manner. “$12 bucks. Target. $6 bucks at other places, like Amazon. Get two,” she continued. “They start to stink after a while.”
By 9:30, I was at Target. Bought three. Two for me and one for Rog. When I got home, I showed Rog. “Return it,” he said. “I already have one.” I giggled. He’s just never used it. 
“It makes me sweat.” That’s the point. Lei promised it will take off inches without additional effort ot work. “An hour of cardio will take off a half inch to an inch. All the models use them.” 
I’m sold.