Two months already

My readers know that when I go dark (e.g don’t blog), life is brutal. Ironically, good things can actually serve like lights in the midst of a blackout; little points on the horizon that reminds me life exists outside my own microcosm of a universe. So since the Illustrious She and my cousin Nance have both now given me swift kicks in my be-hind, I’ll write a few notes on the last 60 days.

In 2 months:

1. I’ve had a relationship enema. I’ll blog at some point about the true-isms of finding renewed peace, energy, love and sex with your spouse/partner, but anyone in a relationship knows that those things don’t come without massive emotional constipation, tears, fury and the ultimate decision made famous by The Clash, Should I Stay or Should I Go. Children of the 80’s know that to stay means trouble to go means double. Tip. If you wake up and state 5 great things about your life, family, your partner, the day goes a little better, the sun seems a little brighter, and then a day passes, then its a week, then its a month. Then it’s a way of being. Do clouds come? Oh yeah. Thunderstorms? of course. But the lightening hurts a little less (or doesn’t make a direct hit).

2. Physical pain brings enlightenment. Why is it that God chooses to divert my angst and simultaneously humble me through physical travails? The day after I returned from Mexico last wk w/the family, I crushed the bones in my left hand. Who does this happen to? (me) Why? (clearly, I need it). Last wk I read in the Times a journalist who espoused that God doesn’t love the wealthy more and yet doesn’t love those who suffer any less. We are responsible for our own success, happiness and injuries. Ok. Then I’m an idiot for pulling out weeds in our pond, stepping on a rock, slipping and in an attempt not to get freezing water inside my chest-high waders, I thrusted my hand forward, thereby hitting another set of rocks and cracking my hand. I’m all about self-love now. Good thing I’m right handed.

3. Family vacations are great for kids and tiring for parents. 6 wks ago went to Puerto Vallarta with Rog. It was relaxing, got lots of time at the gym, and went to clubs/shows every night. I slept in. It was glorious. I thought-my kids will love this. For spring break, we went back down. It wasn’t relaxing. I spent zero time at the gym, but we hit shows every night (my kids are like that). It wasn’t relaxing. What it was however, was family-unit building, wherein the girls played, swam, made crafts, waterslided-their-hearts-out, and ate food from 10-10, all amongst mostly Mexican nationals, which had a side effect of improving their Spanish. The nt before we returned, daughter #2 got an earache, thus I was up all night, holding, comforting and administering Menthal (a natural earache healer I got at the local Pharmacia), fervently praying she’d be well enough to go on the plane. I came home needing a vacation.


Chambers in Poland. to be releaed May 2015

4. Authoring is no longer a hobby. Two days ago I approved the cover for Chambers in Poland. The book comes out next month. This is four countries now, and while I’m happy about it, honestly, I still feel like a complete loser. The largest publishers in 3 foreign countries have taken on this book, but no major US publisher (they are apparently still pissed that I gave the film rights away thereby cutting them out of the deal). I’m like David Haselhoff without the chest hair. I’m really big in countries where I don’t speak the language. In the interim, 2 books in my adult fiction line are almost done, and I’m constantly battling with Rog who is convinced I’m having mental affairs with the men I write about (some who I kill off, others who are completely hot. I can hear my mother-in-law laughing about the truth of this). Finally, in exasperation, I retort “Right, and I’m the lead girl in all my books, like just a schizophrenic-Sybil-like person. Gah!” (Us intelligent author-types can say that).

5. Billionaires like my food. I’ve been telling a particular person “No” to a project for some time. Said person flies west to call on me (sounds very 1800’s does it not?) brings spouse to my home, gives us amazing host/hostess gifts (exotic food and jewelry). I make food my family will eat and not offend my guests sensibilities (which I’ll detail in another blog, along with the recipes) and in the end, after 4 hours, I still say no. We all ended friends (they particularly liked my crab cakes and chocolate mousse). Said billionaire came back later and said-“I’m not interested in anyone else. I’ll wait for your schedule.” In my ever eloquent way, I said to myself, Holy crap. And this is why this person has billions. Perseverance. Patience, and the ability to wear others down.

Beyond these uber-level highlights:


comes in either capsule or liquid form. use 2x a day on an empty stomach. unreal results in 30 days but can see results in 2 wks

1. I’ve proven that the Omica brand Super Zlite Zeriolite capsules really do improve hair quality and thickness (it has ash, which strips the body of metals, which in turn increase hair and nail growth).

2. I desperately miss my chocolate ice cream. I want it. I can’t have it. I think about it all the time. Fondly. I daydream about it. Yes. I’m that pathetic.

3. I truly enjoy my readers from Russia (who, might I add, have great taste in watches and sportscars?) Who cares if the president is off his rocker? So is ours.

4. I’ve discovered Mulco Swiss watches. (My readers know that watches to me are like crack. I can’t get enough. And as my husband points out, crack is a lot cheaper, but at least this way, I have my teeth).

chumlee for president

my favorite episode in recent months is where Chumlee makes a coin. mighty fine looking president

5. I fear for Comedy Central.Can they lose any more good hosts (actually, are any left?) and finally, What. In. The. World. has happened to my favorite people of Pawn Stars? The shows success has made what was great complete crap, esp Rick. He’s now stilted and boring. Make Chumlee and Big Hoss the leads, please. And BTW. the last time I was in Vegas, I saw “the Old Man” driving a stinking Bentley! Show up to the actual store and learn that he and Rick are never actually there. Just come in on “show times.” Ugh. I hate it when something goes from pure to completely manufactured.

6. Bowing to publisher-pressure, I’m now on Instagram under my own name, sarahjgerdes. I haven’t really figured it all out- as in, what’s interesting and what’s not. My publishers want me to revert everything back to my blog, and I’m not interested in posting what I ate for breakfast. I’ll probably offend as many people as I entertain, but then, that’s me. (I do have to say I like following Ducatistas and Porsche and airplanes. very cool images and satisfies my penchant for  machines and speed). I do have to say I wish I knew the last names of people I’ve met. I’d follow them and keep tabs but alas, I’m so caught up in the person I don’t get it. sigh.

7. Vancouver BC was fun, esp given that we found a new place to stay for the hockey tournaments. It spurned me into becoming a travel reviewer, because the place we stayed at got such bad reviews, I had to dispute it. Thus, now you can find me in Trip Advisor under Sarah G. (I know. You can’t get quite enough of me, but this is solely reviews of places, nothing more).

The Point of Failing

Writing, like traditional martial arts and relationships, is all about failure.

Failing to get the right sentence structure, or create a visual that reads like the image in my mind. Lucas (the producer at Warp) told me years ago that he knows a famous author that will spend two weeks on a single sentence. I wanted to ask, ‘in one stretch?’, but I kept my mouth shut. I will go back to paragraphs many times, write and re-write, until I feel like a failure, and certainly want to (and sometimes do) give up, but then return once again.

When I was a lowly second section (that means I was about 6 months in), I was regularly collapsing on the floor of the studio (in our line, it’s not called a dojo, it’s the “studio.”). In any case, the 8th degree black belt said I can “work through anything.” In other words, get up and keep going. “Set your mind.”

That was it. No encouragement. No sympathy. Just do. Very Yoda-like in my humble opinion, so I got up and started again, just like the writing (which coincidentally, happened not long after this aforementioned incident).

Then relationships. Failure abounded after I started dating (well, to be honest, long before an actual “date” occurred) but when the guy was right, I actually realized that failure was no longer an option – or rather, my response to failure was no longer the option. Just like martial arts, I had to set my mind and “push through it,” the global, oft-repeated mantra heard by all.

Now lo, these long years after first hearing the words,  the notion of pushing through it all sometimes…tiring. Sometimes, I just want a break. I want things to be easy, not always a bloody struggle, like Atlas pushing the rock up the hill. My shoulders are wide but come on. Yet my stubborn Swedish/Danish roots come through, and after I’m done crashing (figuratively and literally) on the bed, I wake up, and start all over, determined to replace my temporary failure with success. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.

Accelerating your workout-New finds for relieving aching joints, detoxing & slimming

A few weeks back, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with a national level instructor in the line of martial arts I’ve been studying for a number of years. (National level means he has multiple black belts–I think he’s at a level 7 or 8). He was up from San Diego for a few days, and I knew it might be six months or so before I saw him again. At the end of our conversation, which included his yoga-like bits of wisdom (“goodness is like a seed, plant it and it will grow, spread, and drop more seedlings, causing others to do good”), I casually mentioned that I was having lower back pains.

Muscle & Joint Therapeutic Cream
I now use this before
working out on
my lower back.
Works wonders

“Have you tried this,” he asked, raising a tube of Jadience herbal formula. I’d never seen it before, noting that the “Muscle & Joint Therapeutic Cream Extra Strength” smelled slightly herbish, but was all natural.

“It’s in all the Marriott Spas, Four Seasons etc,” and is based on the recipes of the Grandmaster in our line of martial arts. “Are you hurting now? Here, try some.”

He handed me the tube, and I slathered a bit on my lower back. Ever since having children, my back has been weaker than normal and I’ve had a pinched nerve that bothers me on an off. No amount of yoga, stretching or strength training is getting rid of it. I’m not in actual ‘pain’ per se, but it’s irritating. Within seconds–I’ll say 15– the pain was gone. It stayed gone until that evening, and I didn’t notice it again until the following morning.

What’s interesting is that I went to the web site and learned about the founder and creator of the products, Janelle Kim. Turns out she has a masters in oriental medicine, her father a doctor and

Jenelle Kim, MSTOM, L.Ac., Co-Founder of Jadience  

based his medicine on a physician, Heo Jun, who served the Imperial Emperors way back when. Jun compiled a 25 volume collection on natural medicine. I don’t know about you, but I believe that any herbal medicines who were tested on thousands of peasants, and ultimately used to keep the rulers alive, has some merit.

The Jadience web site is wonderful, and I ordered a bottle of herbal bath solution from the Detox Collection. I started with the Total Body Detox Soak. This goes in a steaming bath, and rids the body of toxins. How do I attest to this claim? Well, no doctor I, but I felt more refreshed, clear-headed and awake after the bath. During the bath however, I didn’t feel so well. And that, of course, is the point. Toxins are poisons, and when leaving the body, it’s an uncomfortable process. I didn’t get sick–just felt a bit quesy. Afterward, I felt like a million bucks, and worked out for an hour.

Slimming Soak
Jadience Slimming Soak

Next up, I ordered the Slimming Soak, because I want to buy in to the fantasy I can lose weight simply by pouring some liquid in a hot bath, read my fantasy novel and come out a new, slimmer me. The marketing included detox and rejuvination, but what I really cared about was the reduction of cellulite. Certain herbs are proven to reduce the size of cellulite (and yes, many men even care about this), so I gave it a whirl. Guess what? It really worked. I looked at my legs before and after, and it was a marked difference. Of course, this isn’t going to help if I go have a blowout at the hamburger joint, but I definitely use it the day or two before I’m going to put on a swimsuit.

With a bit more investigation, I learned that some of the other cremes are those that we’ve been using in the martial arts studio for years. These include hand and feet sprays (to accelerate the healing, and loosening of the joint muscles) as well as for detoxing during workouts. I’m completely hooked, and thrilled that a bit of wisdom from the instructor has given me a whole new world of products that are 100% natural, and affordably priced. (And for new readers who may not know my policy, I receive no kick-backs from my reviews or commentary. Just tried and true feedback for you!).